Remember Her Smile
by UnattemptedFeat
Summary: Reid made a promise to a little girl. Her memory haunts him after that promise is broken.


Reid walked home in the dark, for once not caring about the inherent absence of light. Morgan had offered him a ride home, but he had declined. He wanted to think in peace.

This case had been hard. An UnSub in a tiny town in Georgia had raped and killed four little girls in a span of two weeks. None of the girls had been older than seven. The last victim, Shelby Banks, particularly haunted Reid. She had been one of the police officer's daughters, and she had come by the station the day before she was murdered.

 _A little girl with bouncy pigtails skipped through the station. She ran up to one of the officers and hugged him. The officer- Banks, Reid thought- scooped the little girl up and spun her around while she squealed happily. When the merry-go-round stopped, she noticed Reid, who gave her a shy, little wave. She whispered something in Banks' ear, and he nodded, setting her on her feet._

 _The little girl walked up to Reid and stuck out her small hand, "Hello, my name is Shelby. What's your name?"_

 _Reid shook the little girl's hand with a smile. "My name is Spencer. It is very nice to meet you, Shelby."_

 _"Do you work with my daddy?" Shelby's green eyes flitted to Reid's gun._

 _"I do." Reid decided to go with the simple answer._

 _"Are you helping him find out what happened to Julie?" Shelby's eyes suddenly turned sad, losing their brightness from the moment before._

 _Reid's heart sank. He hated that this child had to be so close to the horror going on around her. "I am."_

 _"Is the bad man going to hurt more people?" Shelby's lip quivered a little, but her voice was surprisingly clear. "Will he hurt me like he hurt Julie?"_

 _Reid didn't know what to say. He knew he couldn't tell her the truth. Most likely, the UnSub would strike again. They didn't have any new leads as to who he might be._

 _"No, Shelby," Reid lied. "He's not going to hurt anybody else. Your daddy and I are going to make sure of that. You are safe. You are going to be okay."_

Reid wanted to cry as he remembered the promise he had made to Shelby. He had promised her that she would be okay, that the bad man wouldn't hurt anyone else. Then the next day, her body had been found in a ditch. A man claiming to be her uncle had taken her out of school, and no one had thought to call anyone to confirm his identity. Five hours later, a horrified father had to identify his little girl by the butterfly clip that was still in her hair.

Reid wasn't even sure how he made into his apartment that night. Every shadow was Shelby as she shook his hand. Every streetlamp was the brightness of Shelby's eyes when Reid assured her that she was safe. Every car horn was Shelby's squeal as her father twirled her around.

Reid didn't sleep at all that night. When he closed his eyes, all he saw was Shelby's body. Her clothes had been missing, but the UnSub had left her butterfly clip. Reid didn't even find solace in the fact that they had caught the UnSub. It didn't matter.

Sitting at his desk at the BAU, Reid continued to dwell in his thoughts. Maybe if he had looked over the evidence again, he would have found something to catch him sooner. Maybe he had missed a crucial clue at one of the other crime scenes. What if... What if...

"Got any plans for the weekend, Reid?" Morgan appeared at Reid's desk, jerking him out of his reverie.

"No." Reid answered tersely, willing Morgan to leave him alone. He _really_ wasn't in the mood for jokes and questions.

"Well, we're all going to that new bar tonight if you wanted to come. Garcia's been talking about it all week. She even bullied Hotch and Rossi into going."

"No, thanks, Morgan," Reid refocused on his work, hoping Morgan would take the hint and go away.

"Aw, come on, Pretty Boy," Morgan urged. "It'll be fun. I'll find you some cute girl to dance with."

Reid wished he could be more like Morgan. The older man was better at compartmentalizing. He could find an outlet in dancing and fooling around at bars. Except for the BAU, there was nowhere that Reid felt that he was truly in his element. He envied Morgan's confidence, charm, and bravery. Reid had the highest respect for Morgan, and he was proud to call him his best friend.

But right now, his best friend was annoying the hell out of him.

"I said no, Morgan." Reid snapped, turning in his chair to face Morgan. He instantly felt bad when he saw the look on Morgan's face. Reid knew that Morgan had only been trying to help him get over a bad case. Upset with himself, Reid got up and strode from the bullpen. Seeking some peace and quiet, he went to the empty office of Agent Ryder, who was on vacation in New York.

Reid closed the door and moved away from it before sliding to the floor. He leaned his head against the wall and sighed. He _had_ to pull himself together. Yes, he was exahausted. Yes, he was haunted by the memory of a little girl. But those were no excuse to snap at Morgan. Morgan was trying to be a friend, and Reid had shut him down.

A case had never affected Reid so much. He had seen the dead body of child before. He had even met a child before they were killed before. But never had he promised a child that she would be safe, and then examined her body the next day.

Had Shelby remembered his promise as she was tortured? Had she hated him for lying to her as she was put through hell?

Reid's eyes teared up and suddenly he was weeping. He let out all of the emotion that had been plaguing him for the past two days. When he cried himself out, he didn't feel any better. If anything, he felt even worse.

A soft knock brought Reid back to his senses. He realized that he had been hiding here for the better part of an hour. The door opened slowly to reveal Morgan, who stepped inside the office.

Reid quickly looked away from his colleague. He had already been embarrassed at the way he had acted, and now Morgan could see that he had been crying. Just great. He scrubbed at his eyes in vain, keeping them trained on the picture of Agent Ryder's son, Max.

He found himself profiling the picture to distract himself from Morgan's presence.

"Reid."

Max's smile was wide, very genuine. He was happy at the time the photo had been taken.

"Reid."

Max was wearing a swimsuit, and his hair was wet. A day at the beach? A swim in the pool?

"Reid, please look at me."

Max had a bit of what looked like sand on his cheek. So, a day at the beach then.

"Spencer." Morgan put his hand on Reid's chin, turning his head to face him. Reid didn't fight Morgan's hand, but he didn't lift his eyes. "Spencer, look at me."

Reid tore his eyes away from Max. He forced himself to gaze into Morgan's dark, chocolatey eyes. When he saw the look of concern in those dark orbs, Reid lost what little control he had left. His vision blurred with tears. Morgan pulled him into a warm, protective embrace and held him while he sobbed.

"I-I'm s-sorry, Morgan," Reid managed to choke out his apology.

"It's alright, Kid. I shouldn't have pushed you after you said no."

"I just..." Reid felt that he had to explain the reason for his outburst. "I can't get Shelby out of my mind." His voice broke when he said her name. "I promised her that nothing would happen to her. I failed her. I..." Reid shook his head and stared at the floor.

"Hey," Morgan put his hand on Reid's shoulder. "There was nothing you could have done, Reid. Do not beat yourself up about this. It was not your fault."

"I know, but..."

"It may seem hard now, Kid," Morgan's voice was soft and gentle. "But it will get better. You will never forget this girl but use her memory for good. Remember how confident she was when she shook your hand? You were a complete stranger, but she walked right up to you and introduced herself."

Reid smiled at the memory of the little hand he had accepted. Usually he was adverse to handshakes, but he hadn't even considered refusing Shelby.

"Yes, there it is!" Morgan smiled with him. "Remember her smile. Remember her bravery. But leave out all the rest." Morgan gave Reid a hand up. "It will get better, Pretty Boy."

"Thanks, Morgan." Reid would never be able to repay Morgan for all the times he had been there for him.

"Sure, Kid." Morgan slung his arm nonchalantly around Reid's shoulder and led him out of the office.

 **Three Days Later**

A new case had brought the team to Oregon. An UnSub was abducting young men and leaving their bodies on park benches. The BAU had been called in at the finding of the fifth body.

Hotch and Reid were at the police station configuring with the local officers. Hotch was waiting to talk to the police chief while Reid set up their space. He watched the young genius pull out the files, and then he did something Hotch never thought Dr. Spencer Reid would ever do.

Reid walked up to the young officer who was putting up the photos of the victims. He said something to the officer and held out his hand to the young man. The officer shook Reid's hand, and they started talking about something.

Hotch was almost sure his eyes were playing tricks on him. Had _Reid_ just initiated a handshake?

Hotch smiled and shook his head. _Look outside, Aaron._ He thought. _Pigs are flying_.

He relayed the event to Morgan later that evening. Hotch might have imagined it, but he thought he saw Morgan's eyes fill with something like pride.


End file.
